I'm officially succesfull. Thanks for all who wished me well.

Moving on.

There was one phrase I heard the other day that managed to tune me out completetly in deep thought. It said: "How do I stop the monster without becoming one myself?"

This was said on a science-fiction context. With vampires and monsters and stuff. But can this be true and applicable to our daily lives? I mean, can we stop the evil of the world without becoming bad ourselves? This remainds me of "the end justifies the mean".
Does it? Are we really able to do enything in order to achieve something? Are we able to sacrify hundreds of lives in order to save thousands? Does the saving people justifies the killing of others?
Can we continue to proclaim ourselves as part of the "good people" in the world after committing murder to an assasin? Do we condemn those who justify it?- This resembles Nineteen Minutes, a novel by Jodi Picoult.

-What would you do if trapped in a situation in which aggressor and victim happen to be the same person? Would you feel guilty, knowing that sometimes, people, including yourself, are only what society pushes them to be, which is not necessarily the equal to good, love, and everything we “believe” in? Are you able to still be yourself, even when it means you’ll be rejected, bullied, and loveless? Are you brave enough? Or most importantly, could you convict, or blame someone for freeing itself? Without contradicting everyone’s right to life?
And- could someone blame you for wanting to be accepted? Isn’t that what we are all seeking for? Acceptance? Love? Friends? Success?. Even when it comes at the expense of becoming into someone we don’t want to be?. Is there anyone- at all- that is innocent enough to throw the first rock, to judge, to be exonerated from any punishment, even when the crime was committed under pressure?
These are just some of the incalculable interrogants and controversies the book Nineteen Minutes brings to your head, your heart; restlessly testing your judgment. It is, as many of Jodi Picoult’s books, a very polemic story told in the most realistic of settings- an all-American teenage lifestyle- and everything that comes with it- peer pressure, happiness, the interminable search for who we are, justice, love and; of course, the ancient law of the jungle- survival of the fittest. Teaching us, that there are many kinds of oppressors and oppressed in our society, as well as different types of killing, of evaporating someone.
The book focuses on a terrible tragedy, a school shooting. It tells the history before it, the meanwhile and its details, and how things changed and didn’t changed, how we sometimes prefer to forget, than to learn and evolve.
The author is able to wrap the reader in an overwhelming web of emotions, pushing it to walk in the shoes of every person that is involved- the killed, the witnesses, the families, the friends, the so called innocents, the extras, the shooter -and who is truly the one to blame.
The most scary and gut-wrenching thing about this book is not the story it tells, since we have already witnessed through the news a few times, nor the circumstances the actions happen in, because it is exactly the world we live in; but the details, the feelings. How understandable- yet unjustifiable- is the act. How guilty we all are sometimes without realizing it, without really looking and paying attention not to what we are doing but how the others feel about it. How our very least important actions- such as just a slight stare or a hello- might change someone’s life entirely. How easily can we, ourselves, create the very bunker we feel trapped in. Because of our lack of courage, because we feel that we must be what others expect us to be- something entirely opposite from what we are, and what we want. Because sometimes, we think that it is better to be loved for something we are not than to be hated for what we are. Maybe it can be because we don’t have enough confidence- and we fall in comparisons. Maybe it is our parent’s faults. Maybe it is us who were born wrong-minded. Maybe it’s our surroundings. Maybe it’s only fate. Or maybe, just maybe, it is that bad things happen to remind us what good is supposed to be.
The complexion is that all of the above and some etceteras’ are all accurate when it comes to whose fault it is. Because, really, there’s no specific culprit in the majority of crimes- I believe it is a mixture of circumstances, reactions, and acts that justify and precede the event, sometimes turning it into just an innocent response- a normal self-defense act. I think this because I can assure you that if you get to go to a prison and ask the convicts if it was entirely their fault- or if they really did it, and you’ll be warned about what you’ll hear- it was not them- and if it were- they had a very obvious and necessary reason.
And I’m not saying that then no one’s entirely guilty. Or that the victim is guilty for what happened to thee, since I do agree with death penalty and that you get what you give. BUT I’m also conscious that there are some things that are necessary, some things that need to be done, and it doesn’t makes you a bad person, or does it? When you’re killing the main contributors to your unhappiness and misery? It is NOT justifiable, nor I would ever do it, but it IS understandable. I’m just stating that sometimes, things happen for a reason. Sometimes we misunderstand. Sometimes, we’re not strong enough to move on and let go. Sometimes, we either fight back at all costs, or face something worse- loosing ourselves.
There are a lot of things that you will never forget about this book. Things you’ll sacrifice your sleep for just to think about them and to find the answers to the questions the characters have so long been asking: Am I what I portray? If not, who am I? Am I afraid of myself, and if not, am I willing to do whatever it takes to defend who I am and what I believe in?
After reading Nineteen Minutes, you will never buy a CD based on its cover. You will listen to the music first, and then proceed to check the lyrics. You will never criticize it, nor judge it, without really listening, really understanding. You will always, no matter what, stay true to yourself and know that things, aren’t often what they seem.

In this book, Peter wasn't able to defeat the monster without turning into one himself.

Now the question lays: Are we capable?

WG